Your community is a retirement haven when…

A little more satirical fun.  Your community is a retirement haven when…

  • Gray hair is considered way cool.
  • Golf courses exceed parks.
  • Prune juice is the best-selling soft drink.
  • It’s retail economy depends on the sale of Depends.



  • Everyone has heard of (and uses) Geritol.
  • Incontinence is NOT a geographic term.
  • “Old folks home” and “home for the aged” are banned terms in the zoning code.
  • Municipal bonds are more popular than James Bond.
  • To be a “senior” in high school or college takes on a whole new meaning.
  • The world shuffleboard championships are held there.



  • Bike lanes are replaced by scooter lanes.
  • The Scooter Store has a brick and mortar location there.
  • Scooter drag races are a favorite sport.
  • Orthotics are the only shoes available for sale.
  • Movie theaters come equipped with hearing aids.
  • Sadly, the obituary section is the largest part of the newspaper.
  • Designer canes are an important fashion statement.
  • Happy hour is from 3-4 pm with dinner promptly at 4:30 pm.
  • Golf carts are driven on the streets and sidewalks.
  • B-I-N-G-O is its name-O!
  • Children are not to be seen or heard.
  • Wrinkles are more common than zits.
  • Age is simply a state of mind.
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