If birds ruled the planet

Here’s the third installment of a series of “what ifs.” Previous versions posts have dealt with Jack Russell Terriers and cats. Enjoy!

  • Everyone would be all a twitter all the time.
  • Tweety bird would be world leader and Larry Bird the prime minister.
  • The term “bird-brain” would be a compliment.
  • Flipping someone the bird would replace thumbs up as a positive gesture.
  • There would be no such thing as a “non-fly zone.”
  • Turkey would be the site of the world capital.
  • The statue with the most bird poops left on it would win holiday decorating contests.
  • Roast kitty stuffed with bird seed would be served at Thanksgiving.
  • The Cat in the Hat  would be replaced by The Bird Dropped a Turd.
  • Penguins, ostrich, and emu would be given free flying lessons.
  • Frequent flyer programs would apply to migration too.
  • Pillows or other products made from feathers or down would be prohibited.
  • Snow birds would be required to prove their flight capability or change their nickname.
  • Chickens would no longer have to cross the road for the sake of a dumb joke.
  • All leftover funds for scientific research would be put into a worldwide program to determine which came first – the chicken or the egg.
  • Just “winging-it” would be frowned upon.
  • A cure for empty nest syndrome would be given high priority.
  • Eagles, hawks, kingfishers, owls, cardinals, blue jays, and other birds displayed on coinage, stamps, team logos, and other items shall receive royalties.
  • Meet the Fokker’s would have been called Meet the Flockers.
  • There would be no pheasants kept under glass.

This entry was posted in civics, fun, Nature, Wildlife and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to If birds ruled the planet

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