Below is my holiday gift list for the Wall Street banksters.
- Free lifetime retirement lodging at the nearest prison.
- Enough rocks to break for constructing their own prison cell.
- A new toothbrush for cleaning animal cages at the zoo.
- An all expense paid work vacation to Devil’s Island.
- A free, one-way hunting trip with Dick Cheney.
- A hike through the Everglades lugging Rush Limbaugh around on their back.
- A DVD containing all episodes of Glenn Beck crying.
- Enough stationary to write letters of apology to everyone they ripped off in the USA – (roughly 300 million).
- A thousand paper cuts with crisp new dollar bills covered in salt.
- A lump of coal the size of a SUV for their stocking.
- A lifetime supply of “used” toilet paper.
- A night of fine dining at the Juarez, Mexico morgue.
- Weekly baths in an oil slick.
- A guest appearance as a goalie at a NHL game – without pads. Don’t puck this one up!
- A fun-filled day of poison dart and javelin catching in the Amazon.
- Summer jobs as rodeo bull nostril cleaners.
- Winter jobs as polar bear back scratching posts.
- A new executive express elevator from the penthouse to the basement that only goes down (and without brakes).
These gifts will clearly show the Wall Street banksters that the rest of us (99%) care about them as much as they cared about us. These are available in any bankster gift catalog or at a GOP water-boarding torture chamber near you.