If Eskies (American Eskimo dogs) ruled the world

I thought it might be a good time for a little fun on the old blogaroo. Have written these previously for Jack Russell Terriers, dachshunds, birds, cats, and rabbits. Figured it is time to decree what would happen if American Eskimo dogs (Eskies) ruled the planet. Here we go:

  • Slobber would be the national appetizer – yum, yum.
  • Flavored slobber would be hailed as the greatest invention of all time. Double yum,, yum.
  • Spring, Summer, and Fall would be banned – Eskie scientists would be funded to research how to move the Earth’s orbit further out into the solar system in order to cool things down.
  • Everyone would be required to learn how to smile like an Eskie.
  • The definition of cool in all dictionaries would always show a picture of an Eskie next to it.
  • Spinning circle spots must be designed into all buildings next to exits and doorways – if you own an Eskie you know what I am talking about.
  • Bad moods would be outlawed – just grin and bear it.
  • The Edmonton Eskimos would be the global team.
  • All humans would be required to brush an Eskie at least once  a day.
  • Pampering is only allowed if it is directed towards an Eskie.
  • Humans would be sent to obedience training and taught to mind their manners when being led.
  • The world capital would be moved to one or both of the poles.
  • Dog treats replace money as the worldwide currency.
  • Fur coats would be banded (as they already should be).
  • All humans would be properly trained in pooper scooper etiquette – it’s our national doody!
  • The energy crisis would be immediately solved by bottling Eskie energy.
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