If songbirds ruled the planet

A little fun on this wet and windy Friday.
  • Humming would be prohibited, unless you are a hummingbird.
  • All “tweeting” would be required to have a melody
  • Cats would be required to live only indoors and must be declawed and de-fanged.
  • Spring migration could only start when it stays warm (in some places, this means never).
  • Choir practice is mandatory starting one hour before sunrise and not concluding until sunset. No exceptions!
  • Worms and flying insects are mandatory for breakfast – the earlier the better or the worms.
  • Squawking is prohibited – we sing, not squawk.
  • Birdman of Alcatraz and The Birds would be required entertainment.
  • Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania must be renamed as Two-in-a-Bush.
  • Being a bird brain would be a good thing.
  • All feeders must be cleaned once a day so we don’t keep eating our own droppings – tasty as they are.
  • The Navy and Air Force would be required to carry us across large bodies of water during migration so we do not have to flap our wings so damn much.
  • Those who sing off-key will be forced to listen to endless duets by Michael Bolton and Roseanne Barr.
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