If songbirds ruled the planet

A little fun on this wet and windy Friday.

• Humming would be prohibited, unless you are a hummingbird.
• All “tweeting” would be required to have a melody
• Cats would be required to live only indoors and must be declawed and de-fanged.
• Spring migration could only start when it stays warm (in some places, this means never).
• Choir practice is mandatory starting one hour before sunrise and not concluding until sunset. No exceptions!
• Worms and flying insects are mandatory for breakfast – the earlier the better or the worms.
• Squawking is prohibited – we sing, not squawk.
• Birdman of Alcatraz and The Birds would be required entertainment.
• Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania must be renamed as Two-in-a-Bush.
• Being a bird brain would be a good thing.
• All feeders must be cleaned once a day so we don’t keep eating our own droppings – tasty as they are.
• The Navy and Air Force would be required to carry us across large bodies of water during migration so we do not have to flap our wings so damn much.
• Those who sing off-key will be forced to listen to endless duets by Michael Bolton and Roseanne Barr.