Just a poking little fun for the holiday weekend. Have no fear urbanites and suburbanites, your turn is coming soon. In the spirit of Burma Shave:
“Being rural…ain’t no sin…what really matters…comes from within!” Enjoy!
- Outhouses are the latest fad.
- Traffic jams consist of tractors, pick-ups, combines, and sometimes roaming livestock.
- Residents paint “See Rock City” and “Chew Mail Pouch” on their house and barn roofs.
- Mayberry looks like a metropolis in comparison.
- Burma Shave still files for new sign permits.
- Green Acres is the number one television show.
- The stores sell phones, not cellphones.
- Apple is a fruit that is grown there.
- All roads lead to …nowhere.
- Dust is the number one commodity.
- Wyoming or Montana try to annex you.
- Alaska is overpopulated in comparison.
- Tumbleweed per square mile exceeds dandelions per square mile.
- Dust (or dirt) devils are NOT a type of vacuum sweeper.
- The satellite dish is the state flower.
- The post office, UPS, and Fedex cannot find you.
- There are no streets, only roads, trails, and two-tracks.
- Walmart is considered high fashion.
- You have a store called Rural King (yes there is such a thing).
- Nothing smells sweeter than herbicide in the morning.
- The airport has more crop duster flights than passenger or freight.
- Trains don’t stop there anymore (not a good thing).
- Coffee is served hot and black only!
- Woodstock is what you use to heat your home in winter.
- Grain elevators are the skyscrapers – I especially love the ones in Western Canada (see below).
- Running water is a nearby stream.
- Teddy Roosevelt was the last politician to visit.