You know your community is suburban when…



Part two of this satirical series – rural communities were addressed over the past weekend. Enjoy!

  • Dandelions are public enemy number one!
  • Squirrels and groundhogs are public enemy number two and three respectively.
  • There are more car-deer collisions than any other kind of motor vehicle accident.
  • Mowed turf is king/queen!
  • More elementary and middle school students are chauffeured to school by their parents than take the school bus.
  • Morning bird songs are drowned out by weed whackers and leaf blowers.
  • Lawn sprinklers operate whether it’s raining or not.
  • The prestige of your community is judged by whether you have Whole Foods or a Trader Joe’s.



  • Lulu is not a women’s name…it is a “locally unwanted land use.”
  • Being called a NIMBY is a badge of honor.
  • It is the birthplace of the McMansion.
  • Starter castles are available with or without moats.
  • High school football games are social gatherings, not sporting events.
  • There is a shortage of limos and tuxes around prom time.
  • The community is virtually desolate at spring break and on summer weekends (at least here in Michigan).
  • Target is affectionately pronounced as “Tar-jay” like it was a high fashion French retailer.
  • News (and gossip) spread faster than the speed of light.
  • Designer pets are a status symbol.
  • Walmart is a dirty word to most.
  • Newcomers move there for the “rural flavor” and then complain about the farming smells and activities.
  • Newcomers move there to be near nature, but then incrementally alter it into something bland and sterile.
This entry was posted in Animals, architecture, cities, civics, civility, Communications, consumerism, culture, environment, fun, geography, history, Housing, humanity, land use, nature, planning, politics, satire, schools, spatial design, sustainability, urban planning, zoning and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to You know your community is suburban when…

  1. basil berchekas jr says:

    Truer words were never spoken!


  2. …the only time you see more than two of your neighbors at once is when there’s a fire.


  3. toby says:

    I had to refresh the actual page times to see this page for some reason, however, the information here was worth the wait around.


  4. Angela Conte of the Axis4 Group says:

    Reblogged this on UTTU.


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