You know your community is suburban when…

Source: houselogic.com

Part two of this satirical series – rural communities were addressed over the past weekend. Enjoy!

• Dandelions are public enemy number one!
• Squirrels and groundhogs are public enemy number two and three respectively.
• There are more car-deer collisions than any other kind of motor vehicle accident.
• Mowed turf is king/queen!
• More elementary and middle school students are chauffeured to school by their parents than take the school bus.
• Morning bird songs are drowned out by weed whackers and leaf blowers.
• Lawn sprinklers operate whether it’s raining or not.
• The prestige of your community is judged by whether you have Whole Foods or a Trader Joe’s.
  

  Source: traderjoes.com

• Lulu is not a women’s name…it is a “locally unwanted land use.”
• Being called a NIMBY is a badge of honor.
• It is the birthplace of the McMansion.
• Starter castles are available with or without moats.
• High school football games are social gatherings, not sporting events.
• There is a shortage of limos and tuxes around prom time.
• The community is virtually desolate at spring break and on summer weekends (at least here in Michigan).
• Target is affectionately pronounced as “Tar-jay” like it was a high fashion French retailer.
• News (and gossip) spread faster than the speed of light.
• Designer pets are a status symbol.
• Walmart is a dirty word to most.
• Newcomers move there for the “rural flavor” and then complain about the farming smells and activities.
• Newcomers move there to be near nature, but then incrementally alter it into something bland and sterile.