You know your community is suburban when…


Source: houselogic.com

Source: houselogic.com

Part two of this satirical series – rural communities were addressed over the past weekend. Enjoy!

  • Dandelions are public enemy number one!
  • Squirrels and groundhogs are public enemy number two and three respectively.
  • There are more car-deer collisions than any other kind of motor vehicle accident.
  • Mowed turf is king/queen!
  • More elementary and middle school students are chauffeured to school by their parents than take the school bus.
  • Morning bird songs are drowned out by weed whackers and leaf blowers.
  • Lawn sprinklers operate whether it’s raining or not.
  • The prestige of your community is judged by whether you have Whole Foods or a Trader Joe’s.

    Source: traderjoes.com

    Source: traderjoes.com

  • Lulu is not a women’s name…it is a “locally unwanted land use.”
  • Being called a NIMBY is a badge of honor.
  • It is the birthplace of the McMansion.
  • Starter castles are available with or without moats.
  • High school football games are social gatherings, not sporting events.
  • There is a shortage of limos and tuxes around prom time.
  • The community is virtually desolate at spring break and on summer weekends (at least here in Michigan).
  • Target is affectionately pronounced as “Tar-jay” like it was a high fashion French retailer.
  • News (and gossip) spread faster than the speed of light.
  • Designer pets are a status symbol.
  • Walmart is a dirty word to most.
  • Newcomers move there for the “rural flavor” and then complain about the farming smells and activities.
  • Newcomers move there to be near nature, but then incrementally alter it into something bland and sterile.
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5 Responses to You know your community is suburban when…

  1. basil berchekas jr says:

    Truer words were never spoken!

    Like

  2. …the only time you see more than two of your neighbors at once is when there’s a fire.

    Like

  3. toby says:

    I had to refresh the actual page times to see this page for some reason, however, the information here was worth the wait around.

    Like

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