Your community is a cowtown when…

  • A lot of people moooooooove there.
  • People come to enjoy the dairy-air (both the aroma and the view – think about it).



  • Residents routinely wait until after the cows come home before doing things.
  • Cows can be seen jumping over the moon.
  • Elsie is a common name.
  • The chips are allowed to fall where they may.
  • Grocery stores sell only milk, cheese, roast beef, and steak.
  • Your town is the railhead for a cattle drive.
  • You know what a longhorn is without being from Texas.
  • You are at home on the range.
  • A stock yard is not the grass in front of a Wall Street brokerage house.
  • “Branding” your product or service takes on a whole new meaning.
  • Cattle rustling remains a measurable crime statistic.
  • Bull hockey is a spectator sport.
  • Feedlots, stockyards, and slaughterhouses are realistic and plausible land uses listed in your zoning code.
  • Rodeo is not a fashionable street but a sport.
  • Rocky Balboa routinely comes to train in the local meat lockers.



  • There is no shortage of methane.
  • Bullshit just comes naturally.
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5 Responses to Your community is a cowtown when…

  1. Ahmad Faisal Alias says:

    Wisconsin… America’s Dairyland…


  2. I take a couple of exceptions.
    1. Millions of us Americans who aren’t from Texas, and maybe even haven’t set foot there, know very well what a longhorn is.
    2. Bullshit may come naturally, but there isn’t very much of it in a cowtown, because most male beef calves are castrated to become steers, which are the source of most beef for human consumption; and I believe that dairy cows are “served” by only a small number of bulls, and I don’t know how much artificial insemination is done in the cattle industry.
    3. If the cows in your cowtown are American bison cows, then there aren’t any bison steers; someone tried it many years ago, but it didn’t work.


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