A little fun, satire, and sarcasm on a cold, winter Thursday. Enjoy!
If pigs ruled the world…
- …they would go “hog wild” in celebration.
- …every government and privately funded project would be a “pork project.”
- …there would be no cities, towns, or villages…only “HAMlets.”
- …mud wrestling would be an Olympic sport.
- …Miss Piggy would be Queen.
- …bacon, ham, and other pork food products would be banned.
- …the global school would be named “HOGwarts.”
- …Kevin Bacon would be their human spokesperson.
- …igpay atinlay ouldway ebay hethey fficialobey anguagelay.
- …they would be allowed to fly whenever and wherever they want.
- …they would spend all their time trying to make amends for the current “pig” in the White House (see below).
- …beer bellies would be replaced by pork bellies.
- …they would wallow in the afterglow of global leadership.
- …all grocery shopping must be done at Piggly Wiggly stores.
- …riding a H-O-G would be required for all motorcyclists.
- …Piglet and Porky Pig would be superheroes.
- …the 1981 movie, Porky’s, would be considered a classic.
- …javelina and peccary would insist on being classified as pigs.
- …the NFL would be banned from using the term pigskin for American footballs.
- …every conversation, presentation, and form of media entertainment, including this, would be required to conclude with:
I’ve really enjoyed your posts. Until today. Your comment and photo of President Trump are neither funny, satirical, or sarcastic; it’s just hatred. Goodbye.
Thank you for your comment and your past support.
This is a funny piece. One correction: footballs, despite the nickname, never were and are not now made of pigskin. They’re cowhide. Last I knew, Horween Leather in Chicago is the main manufacturer of the leather for footballs. Pigs can relax.
Good to know – thank you!